The holidays can bring so much joy and happiness. When we think of holidays, we can’t help but to imagine that is all about about laughter and good times. The Christmas lights, delicious foods, the family and friends’ gatherings, the laughter and joy; the smell of fresh baked cookies and the old-time holly jolly holiday music playing everywhere.

No one wants to think that the most wonderful time of the year can bring unsatisfactory events. Unfortunately, is very common that domestic violence increases during the holidays.

Statistics show that the increase of stress from finances the pressure of buying gifts holiday shopping at busy retail stores, the family societal emphasis of family gathering and the consumption of alcohol and or other drugs can aggravate someone’s personality. Abusers tend to take out their frustration on their partners as they are likely to be home during the holidays. Imagine the pressure victims have to put on a happy face while enduring abuse by their partner. Some family members may normalize or minimize the abuse due to cultural believes making hard for victims to speak up about it and ask for help.

What are some of the sings of domestic violence? Some may be more obvious than others. Remember, the abuse is a thought-out action and is done with the sole purpose to gain or have control over a partner. Here are a few signs to look for:

Verbal abuse

This is when your partner uses a range of words or behaviors to manipulate or control you when you’re alone or at times in front of others

Isolation

Your partner may reduce access to your family, friends and other resources and at times he/she may require you to report your whereabouts

Controlling Behaviors

Your partner may tell you how to dress or criticize your appearance and overall maintain control over you in every aspect

Blaming

Your partner may blame you for his/her doings or lack of doing by projecting his/her faults on to others

Physical Abuse

When your partner intentionally hurts you by shoving, pinching, slapping, kicking, or any bodily injury.

How can we help victims of domestic violence? You can help by being supportive and available when they are ready to reach out to you. You do not want to force or pressure them into leaving a dangerous situation. Remember victims may be frightened of their partner and their reaction and leaving may not be safe for them. SAFETY MEASURES NEED TO BE IN PLACE.

What things can you do if you find yourself being a victim of domestic violence? You can call one of the helplines provided below. Helplines are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Advocates can help answer questions and provide support for all callers (victims, family, friends).

• Remedies Renewing Lives: 1-(815) 962-6102
• Illinois Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-(877) 863-6338
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-(800) 799-7233

Please remember all calls are confidential.

-Estefania Barrientos, YWCA Northwestern Illinois La Voz Latina FAC Parent Educator/PAIP Coordinator